File this under the category of “You had one job to do.”
I’m not the biggest bagel fan in the world. Certainly not like those from New York City, but I do like a morning bagel anywhere from two to four times per week. Cinnamon raisin is my go-to bagel when it comes to breakfast—sometimes with just butter, other times with butter and jam, or peanut butter and apple butter on top. It all depends on my mood.
I typically purchase this particular bagel made by Franz Bakery—not because I’m necessarily loyal to them, but because they are widely carried in my shopping radius of travel.
However, this is hardly a perfect marriage. Throughout my relationship with Franz bagels, I will remove a bagel from the bag to discover it poorly cut in half—more so than ever as of late. Whoever or whatever is cutting their bagels in half, isn’t paying attention or needs to be recalibrated.
Time and again, I am holding a bagel half that is so thick, I can barely squeeze it into my toaster which has slots that accommodate the average bagel thickness. Which means the other half is basically the thickness of a Triscuit cracker. Worst yet, it’s not even a uniform cut. As a result each half requires a separate toaster setting due to the extreme differences in thickness. If I put them in the toaster at the same time, one half will come out under-toasted and the other will be over-toasted. This is no way to live.
So annoyed by this, I filled out a customer feedback form on their website (and then wrote this post for good measure).
This isn’t so much about the product’s taste or freshness, it’s likely about the stupid robot that slices the bagels. Lately, it seems like there are at least 2 bagels out of every package that are far from being slice in half. If you can’t cut the bagels is half properly, don’t cut them at all—I’m happy to do that. You’re not doing your customers any favors by cutting them in half if you do a piss-pour job in that procedure.
In short, Franz… Cut it right, or don’t cut it at all.
I half expect to get an apologetic email with coupons for free purchases of any Franz product which isn’t going to appease me. If they really want this customer to be happy, they can send me coupons for free purchases of their competitor’s bagels, or better yet, simply recalibrate/update the software of the tomaton that is slicing the bagels.